Co-Parenting With An Ex Who Likes Conflict

If you and your ex-spouse have children, you will likely have to still deal with one another quite frequently, because of your responsibilities of co-parenting your child(ren). If your ex is someone who likes conflict, this can be extremely difficult. Every encounter with your ex can be emotionally draining and make you feel bad about yourself. However, if you learn strategies on how to handle your ex, you can make things easier on yourself.

Here are some tips for dealing with an ex who likes conflict:

Don’t Lower Yourself to Your Ex’s Level

When your ex is behaving irrationally and saying hurtful things to you, it may be tempting to tell him or her off. However, if you get let yourself get angry and scream at your ex, it can escalate the situation even further. Your ex may become angrier and the two of you will just go back and forth. Instead, just stick to the facts. For instance, if your ex keeps insisting to take your child to a baseball game when he or she is supposed to be with you, simply remind your ex of the custody schedule.

Don’t Take Things Personally

If your ex has frequently insulted you, it can be difficult not to take it to heart. However, you must remember that he or she is likely projecting his or her own issues on you. Your ex is likely unhappy with him or herself and says hurtful things to feel better. Keep trying to be the best person you can be and pay no mind to what your ex says about you.

Recognize That You Can’t Change Your Ex

As difficult as it may be to hear, you probably can’t change the way your ex thinks and acts. Your ex is the person he or she is and it’s important to accept that. If you realize that your ex can only change if he or she wants to, you will take a lot of stress off your back.

Communicate Through Email

If you can’t seem to speak to your ex without it ending up in a screaming match, it may be best to communicate through email. It’s less intrusive than the phone ringing and doesn’t involve any body language. You can just say exactly what you want to say and move on.

Be Careful About What You Post on Social Media

By now, you should know that nothing on social media is truly private. Even if your ex isn’t on your friend’s list on Facebook, he or she could still find your posts. That’s why you should always be extra careful about what you post on social media. You wouldn’t want something you posted to negatively affect your child custody case.

If you are in the middle of a child custody battle, you should speak to a Bloomington family lawyer. The lawyers at our practice have helped many parents get through heated custody battles and are here for you every step of the way.

Thanks to Pioletti & Pioletti for their insight into family law and child custody involving a difficult spouse.